Lori McKenna’s “The Bird & The Rifle” is a masterclass in song craft.
Not only is the rhyme pattern brilliant, but she illustrates how to use a metaphor to get across an idea most would have done as a conversation between a man and woman. Instead, she went with a rifle and a bird. Not only does the rhyme pattern kill, she combines with some unconventional approaches to common song elements like the chorus and song outro.
She uses a super-clever rhyme pattern with staggered end-rhyme that gives the song a unique sound and story-like atmosphere.
McKenna’s gift is her ability to take the common things we all experience and turn them into deep, meaningful life lessons. And she does it with such simple language. Don’t get me wrong – the ideas and song construction are usually complex. It’s her ability to translate those thoughts into accessible songs that makes her, well, brilliant.
If you want to learn how to write songs – listen to every Lori McKenna song ever written.
LORI MCKENNA’S RHYME PATTERN PROWESS
VERSE
There’s a bird making coffee in the kitchen [A]
And there’s a rifle out back smoking cigarettes [B]
He don’t ever really feel like talking [A]
It don’t matter what she says [B]
Technique: Close Rhyme
Brilliant close rhymes in this verse: kitchen/talking and cigarettes/says.
VERSE
And the bird is always dreaming out the window [C]
Looking at that big wide open sky [D]
And the rifle, he used to be a dreamer [E]
But he wasn’t meant to fly [D]
Technique: No Rhyme
The way she has the verses structured, with a big pause after each line, ends up sounding like the end rhymes are internal rhymes. Because there is so much space, the fact that the third line doesn’t rhyme gets lost. Sneaky!
CHORUS
Something down on the ground won’t let her out, it holds her in [F]
And he’s afraid if she flies she’ll never come home again [F]
Something ’bout the bird and her spreading those wings [G]
Always brings the rifle out in him [F]
Technique: Internal Rhyme
Down/ground/out – come on!! A quick string makes you feel all warm and cozy, and then she jumps to the true end rhyme. In/Again/Him all good stuff, but hold up . . . Wings? it’s close with the “i-n” sound, so it melds and you give it a pass because you’ll still all snuggled up with those first flurry of rhymes. Comfort rhyming! Also note how the chorus moves away from the A/B/A/B pattern of the verse. Always a good way to add some dynamics to the song.
VERSE
But the rifle loves the bird when she’s singing [G]
And he knows every word to every song [H]
And the bird, she loves the rifle [I]
Cause he’s dangerous, stubborn and strong [H]
Technique: Ummmm
Pretty interesting structure on this verse. The [H] rhymes keep it going, and brilliantly, the repetition of “the rifle loves the bird” and “the bird, she loves the rifle” sounds like a consistent sound. So while not a rhyme it’s also not disruptive to your ear. BRILLIANT! (Not sure how many times I can say that, but – dang – I’ll keep saying it!)
CHORUS
Something down on the ground won’t let her out, it holds her in [F]
And he’s afraid if she flies she’ll never come home again [F]
Something ’bout the bird and her spreading those wings [G]
Always brings the rifle out in him [F]
VERSE
One night when the autumn wind was perfect [J]
The rifle drank his whiskey and went to bed [K]
And he never even heard the window open [L]
And she ain’t come back in [K – close rhyme]
This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Song Ending
No chorus. Nope. The bird flew away. Don’t need one.
B-R-iiiiiiiiii-lliant
© Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Songs Of The Corn, Creative Pulse Music, Maps And Records Music, Noodlehead Publishing, Songs Of Universal Inc., Tempo Music Investments
Songwriters: Troy Verges / Lori Mckenna / Caitlyn Elizabeth Smith